No one's talking about ... Child Behaviour
Raising children is one of the most demanding challenges you’ll face throughout life and with the expectation of schooling, parenting, working, cooking and housework all to be managed alongside a day’s work, it can be a struggle to create some balance if your child seems to be consistently misbehaving.
Unfortunately, parents aren’t superheroes and whilst we aim to do everything to the best of our ability, and often pressure ourselves to be perfect, we can all become stressed, tired and unfocused at times, which can have a detrimental effect on our children’s behaviour. Children can be quick to notice if you are feeling upset and might behave badly when you are less able to cope.
Children can be naughty, defiant and impulsive from time to time, all of which are perfectly normal but there are some things that we as parents can do to help shape this behaviour - consistency is key to make sure a tantrum doesn’t become a pattern of misbehaviour. Children need some structure in their day to day life and it can be confusing if it’s missing, fuelling bad behaviour through boredom and not knowing what they’re doing next. Once structure has been established, don’t give up and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re struggling. Parents put pressure on themselves to be perfect, but there is no perfect method.
With the parent/child relationship, communication is key. After all, how do you expect a child’s behaviour to change if you don’t communicate and speak to them about what you expect? It can help if they understand why you want them to do something and how you want them to do it. Taking time out of the day to talk to your child and understand their feelings can pay dividends as you understand their feelings and needs more, using open communication to your advantage.
Of course, children will always have occasions when they misbehave which can cause frustration even if it’s something out of your control, and although it’s impossible not to show your irritation sometimes, try and stay calm and move on to other things that you can both enjoy and be positive about. Let your child know when you’re pleased by giving them the much needed attention they deserve, creating some positive reinforcement.
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and all parents have been through this with their children. You also shouldn’t forget about you. When possible, allocate time for yourself, go for a walk, take up a new hobby and spend time doing something you love as it’s important for your own mental health. Speak to your employer about how they can support you if you’re going through a difficult period of parenting. Times have changed and employers are more flexible than ever, whether this be by offering a change to working hours or flexible working.
Your employer needs you to perform at the best of your ability and if they can, they should help. Through your employer, you may have access to an Employee Assistance Program, which will provide you with access to a qualified counsellor to assist with the improvement of your own wellbeing and talk through these issues. The Employee Assistance Program is there when you need it, whatever time of the day, and is completely confidential from your employer.